Ever been reading through the news feed on your favorite social media and seeing those mushy (some might have another expression for it) posts that some people put up about their partners? You know the ones – the sweetest love quotes, how great my woman is, how thankful I am to have you – often with hashtags like #wifeforlife, #familyvalues. Well … according to cousellor David Anderson, these may actually be hidden signals of men who are secretly cheating.
Anderson believes that these may be a clear deflection tactic. If everyone thinks the marriage is happy, they’ll ignore any suspicious movement or activities on the man’s part.
But it’s not only cheating men that do this. Other people who post a lot about how great their lives and relationships are, on social media, are often compensating for hidden unhappiness and unfulfilled desire.
“Various studies have shown that people lie on Facebook; I remember one a couple years ago that showed a high percentage of Facebook users who post images to make it look like they were more adventurous than they actually are”, Anderson said.
“Other people post pictures of their lives and possessions purely to make their friends and family jealous – and others want the picnic life their friends seem to have, so they invent perfect life stories of their own, even though their actual lives are nothing like that.”
Anderson believes that psychology can help users depict what is really going in a relationship, based on social media posts – it involves looking below the surface to find the truth.
So what do your social media posts actually say about your relationship?
“Posts inadvertently tell the truth about what is really happening in the relationship,” warned counseling expert Violet Brown.
Here are some examples:
Post: A photo of you and your partner cuddling
Brown said this can be a warning to other women telling them to back off and to not attempt to be a side chick as the man is happy where he is.
Post: A person is in a relationship but posts a photo captioned ‘feeling lonely’ or ‘wish someone was here to keep me company’
Brown said this could mean that the relationship is on the rocks and the person is available to any secret admirer.
Post: Numerous photos every day of the couple kissing or cuddling.
It causes others to wonder if this relationship is genuinely healthy, or if the person is just putting on a show, Brown said.
Post: Taking videos and photos on your date.
Posting things while you are out means that your online image is more important than the actual relationship. You are more interested in letting everyone know you are out, rather than enjoying the moment with your partner.
Post: Love quotes/memes.
This implies that you are grateful for being blessed with such a wonderful partner. It could also mean that you are sending a message to your partner or to a potential or lost partner about the state of your emotions, Anderson said.
Post: Single photos of your partner.
This implies that your world revolves around him/her.
Post: Bombarding your pages with snapshots of romantic dates and intimate moments.
This could mean that you are trying to make other people jealous. “Most times things are not as they seem, and it’s an attempt to prove, or to convince even yourself that everything is OK, even when it isn’t”.